


The Right Choice

by katieluvanime



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Sick!Rachel, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 18:10:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1314283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katieluvanime/pseuds/katieluvanime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They didn't notice...no one noticed...but she needed them to.  She needed them more then ever right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Me no own!
> 
> Warnings: Sad Fic, Character Death
> 
> Note: I have no idea...I hope you like it!

She knew no one noticed. She counted on it day after day. She would walk the halls as her usual glowing self, brandishing gold stars and the work of art that was her voice. They would laugh at her, throw slushies at her face, and leave her standing dripping wet. They never noticed how her legs shook so badly as she strained to hold herself up. Kurt made fun of her long sleeved grandma sweaters but she knew they were necessary. They hid the bruises on her arms that would blossom too easily when she was pushed around. She hid it well, hid herself well, so no one would know that she was sick.

It was getting harder and harder to keep up the mask. Most days she ached down to her bones and it took everything she had to follow along in the steps for rehearsal. She would stumble, catch herself, and continue on. When she got home she would look down at her body, filled with bruises and those red blotches. She hated them, hated how they ran up and down her legs and arms. She stopped wearing her skirts; she was always cold and those blotches were disgusting. 

Her father's were supportive in anything she did and she was never more thankful they were there with her. They were sitting in the oncologist's office, hoping for good news. The look on her doctor's face made her heart plummet. 

"The treatments aren't working, are they?"

"No Rachel, I'm sorry."

"How long?"

"We're not sure."

"…Oh."

It was harder then usual to walk into the choir room. Everyone was sitting around, each in their little cliques, chatting about one thing or another. She was never apart of them; she always sat off to the side. It hurt sometimes, not being invited to join in but she knew it was mostly her fault. She was the diva. And she needed some friends right now.

"Hey Rachel, please take a seat so we can get started," Mr. Schuester requested as he brushed past her. She nodded but didn't sit. 

Everyone was looking at her and she knew what they were thinking. Even the resigned look on her teacher's face made her second guess herself briefly, but it had to be done.

"Um...Mr. Schuester? May I have a moment to address the group?" she asked, her voice hitching slightly. She heard the sigh, heard the whispered comments, and squared her shoulders.

"You have the floor Rachel."

Oh God, they were all staring at her. Normally this would be the highlight of her life, but now it scared her to death. She cleared her throat and stuffed her hands in her hoodie's front pocket. Her hunched shoulder's trembled as she tried again to speak.

"Any day now!" Santana snickered, causing everyone to laugh around her. Rachel felt tears gather and she blinked hard.

"I know I'm pushy and I know I have been selfish by hogging all the solo's-"

"I'll say," Kurt interrupted, a slight sneer on his face. Rachel shook her head, her thin brown curls falling around her face. She had to say this, she had to.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all that I've done to you all. I'm sorry for being the diva and never letting you in. But you never let me in either."

Her voice stuttered, her voice thick with tears. The room quieted, no one expecting this at all. 

"I don't know how to express myself except in song. I'm not smart like Quinn or eloquent like Mercedes. I can't cut someone down with just a look like Santana or stop people in their tracks with beautiful fashions like Kurt. I'm not strong...I'm not pretty...all I have is my voice. But none of that matters anymore. I wanted to let you all know, wanted you all to see what was happening. But I can't bring myself to say it because then it would be true."

Her whole body was shaking as tears dripped down her pale cheeks. She hated being weak, but her whole body hurt and she just wanted to give up. She started as a hand touched her shoulder and she looked into the sympathetic eyes of her teacher.

"Rachel, what's going on?"

"I can't...I...can I sing it?"

"Sure."

She knew the song; she practiced it all night in preparation. But as she opened her mouth, the words only croaked out. 

"Sarah Beth, is scared to death, cause the doctor just told her the news. Between the red cells and white...something's not right...and there's nothing they can do for you..."

She heard a gasp from beside her and she felt the hand tighten on her shoulder. There would be a bruise there later.

"What the hell?"

Rachel opened her eyes slightly, not realizing they were even closed. Puck was up from his seat, his hands clenched into fists.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Um...what does that mean?"

"Oh my God."

She heard the different reactions, the shock and dismay was clear. She knew she was sobbing; her whole body quaked with it.

"I've been sick for about a year, leukemia they said. I started treatment, but it wasn't working for me. It...the doctor said they could try again...but the outcome would be the same. I'm...they didn't give me an estimate of how long...but it won't be long...probably..."

She knew she wasn't making sense; the words were jumbled in her head and weren't going away. She was holding herself by a thread and it was about to snap. She stumbled forward, not able to hold herself up any longer when strong arms caught her gently around the waist. She barely felt it as she settled on the floor and buried her face in his chest. She knew those arms, had felt them around her before. Puck was clutching her lightly, as if she would break any moment. She felt the dampness on her neck where his face rested and her heart broke. Then more arms came around her, more hands caressed her head and held her hands. The room was silent save for the muffled sounds of cries from her friends...her family. 

"I'm...I'm dying..."

It was the end.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel gets a surprise in the hospital...

It was her 17th birthday and she was lying in a hospital bed.  She wasn't surprised by it; she just kind of wished she was strong enough to at least sit up by herself.  Her father's were out of the room for a moment talking to the doctors while Puck and Kurt sat with her.  The fashionista was going on about some girl's outfit he saw at school, his hands waving dramatically.  She laughed lightly though it came out more like a cough.  She smiled when she felt her back vibrate as the man she was lying against laughed.  He rubbed her arm gently, careful not to press to hard in fear of leaving bruises.  Her smile deepened as she turned slightly to look up at Puck.  He glanced down, distracted, a confused look on his face.

"You okay Berry?" he whispered, careful not to attract too much attention.  Kurt would kill them both if he found out they weren't hanging onto his every word.  Rachel nodded and leaned back further, her eyes dropping closed. 

Six months ago she had told her friends she was dying and it took two minutes for them to rally around her, Puck leading the way.  It was odd, God just plain weird how he had reacted, but she was glad for it now.  He had been her rock since then, carrying her book bag when it bruised her too badly and always had an arm around her incase she fell or got too tired.  When it became too hard for her to dance anymore, to even sing anymore, he simply led her to the choir room and sat her on his lap to watch the other's perform.  She became the non official assistant director of the glee club, pointing out any mistakes made.  She even had gone as far as making Puck get up and help her lead them through a dance ruitine she had come up with the period before.  She nearly collapsed after but he caught her quickly and brought her into his arms for support.  He was a Godsend to her...and after her parents she would miss him most of all.

It was about two weeks ago that she realized her body just couldn't take it any longer.  She could barely get out of bed anymore without some sort of help and school was in no way possible.  She couldn't stand for long periods of time and her whole body ached when she had to sit up straight.  She had periods of dizzy spells and her breathing was almost always shallow.  Her body was breaking down around her and it scared her like hell.

Puck had been there when it had finally given out.  He was picking her up that day to take her to practice, something she still insisted in doing, when she had looked at him and collapsed in the grass.  She woke up in the hospital, her friends and father's around her and saw the tears in their eyes.  And from judging by the look on her doctor's face, it wouldn't be long now. 

"Rachel?  You still with us?"

Rachel's eyes shot open to rest on Kurt and she smiled weakly. 

"Yes, I'm fine Kurt.  It was rude of me to doze like that, I'm sorry."

Kurt's eyes widened and his brows shot to his hairline.  He shook his head and placed his hand on hers, squeezing it briefly.

"You're in a hospital girlfriend; I think it's a law that you have to doze here."

They shared a grin, one diva to another, and she knew she was forgiven.  She felt Puck stretch behind her and she leaned in closer for support.  She knew it was selfish but he was an incredible back rest.  She almost never hurt when he propped her up like this.

This was nice, she thought, enjoying the comfortable silence the three of them had fallen into.  She enjoyed it when her friends visited her; they always made sure that when Puck came two or three of them would come also.  They didn't want to miss a day with her. 

Her dad came in then, his face pale but a smile stretched across it. 

"Hey sweetie, are you up for more visitors?"

"Sure Daddy."

A few visitors’s turned out to be the entire McKinley High's New Directions.  They piled into her private room, arms filled with cakes, balloons, and presents.  Her eyes widened when Mr. Schuester followed, a stereo in his hands.  He smiled at her and went to the back to plug it in.  Kurt rose from his seat to join them and as soon as their goodies were set down they all turned to face her. 

"Oh my God!" she giggled, tears streaking her cheeks.  One by one they pulled off their jackets to reveal their shirts, girls in pink and boys in blue, each with a gold star on the front.  Her giggles turned to full blown laughter, the first she had in a long time.  She pressed her hands to her chest, trying to calm her heart.

"This is...oh you all look wonderful," she whispered, her voice hoarse.  Her dad's came up beside her bed, taking the place of Puck.  She missed his warmth but when he took off his hoodie to reveal his own gold star shirt, it was more than worth it. 

"We wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday Rachel, and say that we love you," Mercedes started, a soft smile gracing her face.

"It's not fair what's going on right now, but no matter how weak you get you have us to fight your battles," Santana continued, her hands on her cocked hips.

"We may not have been close before, but you are the heart of our team." Tina shifted onto her heels, her hands in her black jeans.

"You mean a lot to us." Mike never said a lot, but when he did he meant it.

"It sucks that you have to celebrate your birthday here, but we wanted to make it special," Quinn murmured as she looked up from beneath her lashes.  They had never been close but it was sweet that she was trying.

Matt just looked up and smiled slightly.  She returned it happily.

"I don't remember why I'm here."

Rachel coughed to cover her laugh; she loved Brittany.

"I understand how hard it is when you lose control over your body.  If you need to talk, we're here," Artie said from his chair.

"You brought us together, and we never really thanked you for it.  We were mean and hateful and completely forgot that you were just like us.  We're sorry for what we did," Kurt stated, his arms crossed over his chest.  But she saw his eyes fill up with tears and hers filled in return.

"You uh, you kinda rock Rachel and we wanted to let you know that," Finn shrugged, his stance awkward. 

She heard a throat clear and glanced at Puck who stood in the corner.  All eyes turned to him expectantly and he just rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I'm on it.  Mr. Shue?"

Strands of music filled the air as Puck stepped towards her bed.

_"Sorry we never told you_  
All we wanted to say  
And now it's too late to hold you  
'Cause you've flown away  
So far away."

Rachel's breath caught in her throat as she sagged against her father's for support.  They hugged her close and she felt their tears soak her hospital gown.  Mercedes stepped forward, her beautiful voice flowing out to join his.

_"Never had we imagined_  
Living without your smile  
Feeling and knowing you hear us  
It keeps us alive  
Alive."

Everyone joined their hands together as they all began to sing.

_"And we know you're shining down on us from heaven_  
Like so many friends we've lost along the way  
And we know eventually we'll be together  
One sweet day."

Puck knelt beside her bed and took her hand carefully, threading their fingers together.  She stared at him in shock, her mouth trembling when he quietly sang just for her.

_"Darling I never showed you_  
Assumed you'd always be there  
I took your presence for granted  
But I always cared  
And I miss the love we shared."

He leaned forward to press a kiss to her knuckles as Mercedes' voice filled the air.

_"Although the sun will never shine the same again_  
We'll always look to a brighter day  
Lord we know when we all lay to sleep  
You will always listen as we pray."

She heard their voices singing the chorus, but she could only see their face's.  Each one had tears running down their cheeks and held on to one another carefully.  Quinn was clutching Finn to her, her head buried in his shoulder.  Tina sat in Artie's lap while her hand held Mike's.  Mercedes and Kurt were hugging tightly, their heads tilted towards the other.  Brittany and Santana had Matt between them, his arms wrapped around their shoulders.  Their pinkies were linked in front of them.  And Puck...her Puck, was staring at her intently, a small sad smile on his face.  He glanced away as Mr. Schuester stepped forward to stand with his group, his voice joining theirs as they all spoke. 

"Sorry we never told you,  
All we wanted to say."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's so hard to say goodbye...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: CHARACTER DEATH

_"Attention William McKinley High students.  It is with deepest regret that I must inform you of the passing on one of our own.  Junior Rachel Berry passed away yesterday afternoon at 3:20 due to an illness she has suffered from for over two years.  Councelors are open all day and after school to those who would like to speak to them.  Please, let us have a moment of silence for Rachel."_

That was it.  That was all they heard about it.  Life went on for the students, even as one of their shining stars went out.  Most of them just brushed it off, but for one small group a piece was now missing.

They were excused from classes that day and they stayed huddled together in their choir room.  There was no space between them; they leaned against each other, one right after the other, like dominos until they reached the center.  Puck.  He wasn't speaking, wasn't moving.  Tears just flowed down his cheeks as Kurt and Quinn held onto him tightly.  That was how Mr. Schuester found them at the end of the day.  It was hard for him to take care of his classes when all he wanted to be was with his kids. 

"Guys, I have something to say if that's alright," he whispered as he knelt down in front of them.  Some glanced up, other's nodded, but no one spoke.

"I recieved this today from Rachel's fathers.  Apparently she recorded it yesterday...before she..." He cleared his throat, trying to force down his heart.  

"It's for us to watch...but it's probably too soon.  We can wait-"

"Put it in Mr. Shue," Puck interrupted.  They looked at each other before the older man nodded.

"Okay."

 

There she was, propped up by pillows and her hair braided over one shoulder.  She looked weak, pale, but her smile lit up the room.  She lifted one hand to wave, but had to drop it soon after.

"I'm not really sure how to start this."

"Then why not say hello sweetie." They chuckled quietly at her father's whispered instrutions.

"Okay Daddy.  Thank you for setting it up for me.  Could you...um?"

"Sure baby."

They heard the door open and close and Rachel's shoulder's sagged.  She let a few tears drop before she straightened up again.

"Hello everyone.  I asked my parent's to help me since I won't see you after school.  Not that I don't think you all are coming...but I won't be here.  When you get out of school...or maybe even before last period ends...I will probably be gone.  I can just hear you now Santana...'Morbid much?'"

Santana giggled before burying her face in Matt's shoulder, her body shaking.

"It's okay.  I'm okay.  I'm not worried about what's happening anymore.  I'm going to go to a place where I can watch you all grow up and fall in love, maybe have kids who will all end up in school together.  New Directins: The Next Generation.  I will be able to laugh when you do, cry when you can't.  I will always be with you, standing beside you and holding your hand.  And when it's your time to join me, I'll be waiting right inside with a smile."

Her mouth trembled as she fiddled with the end of her braid.  Tears trickled down her cheeks as she swallowed, trying to get the words out that she needed to say.

"In the beginning...I know you all hated me.  I was the diva, only thinking about herself.  I never let you all in, to see who I really was.  And you all weren't much better.  You were mean, even cruel.  You spoke such terrible things and brushed past me as if I were nothing but scum under your boots.  But...when I really needed you, you all gathered around me and held me close.  You let me cry and curse, even hit.  I was so angry with you all, I didn't understand why after all that had happened, you would be so nice.  And then I knew.  Somewhere in between all the diva-offs and sharp words we had become friends.  And now...in the end...you all saved me.  You kept me going with your smiles and visits.  I would never have lasted as long as I did if you weren't with me every step of the way.  I wanted to say thank you, to all of you.  And to maybe give you all a bit of advice.  Not about music, though Kurt, I know you can hit that high F without any trouble.  Don't hide it next time, okay?  It's about life in general.  And I hope you take it to heart."

"Don't live your life in fear.  Be who you want to be, not what everyone expects you to be.  Love with everything you have even if it will one day break your heart.  And...cherish each other.  Because you never know when someone may leave you.  Smile, laugh, sing, and dance.  And always remember...you have more then angels watching over you."

Rachel looked down quickly, a blush staining her cheeks.  She wiped a hand across them to try to stop her tears.  Her eyes met the camera and she shrugged her shoulders.

"And Puck...you never knew.  I love you...I've loved you since Sweet Caroline and maybe before that.  I love all of you...and...I hope I did good."

She smiled one last, sad smile as the screen faded to black.  There was silence, total silence, until a yell broke out.  He bowed low, his hands clutched around his middle as his head nearly touched the floor.  His body shook as his loud cries filled the room.  Everyone watched with grief stricken eyes as the strongest of all of them shattered. 

"I knew...God...Rachel...I knew..." 


End file.
